Toll is 4 dollars ..

Friends. Party. Club.
Rewind and repeat.
What happened to family, school, or sleep?

All I can say is that once you're in the industry, goodbye sleep. You have to be at every event and every meeting. You not only have to go to the parties your group is throwing, but even the ones that the group is hosting. Lastly you have to promote on the days that other groups are throwing parties. In a way, you could avoid it through excuses of tending to family or school needs. However it really doesn't look good to the CEO. And in return, he would ask us where our dedication and commitment went. And let me tell you, the timing that we have to attend the events really cut into the time you could instead be sleeping. I would be going home in the late AMs, or worse, not even at all.

Partying takes such a toll on the body. And in adding to the lack of sleep, we get involved with alcohol, drugs, and such. I would have to admit it is extremely fun for the most part, but it really affects us in the long run. I remember two semesters back when I first joined. It was a new experience, so of course, I got caught up with it. I messed up. I stopped going to school. I barely even saw my family, and I would always be kicking back during the day and partying again at night. In other words, it became a routine. It was a horrible nightmare. I felt like I was a music track on repeat. And in no time, I was finding myself falling asleep with every chance I got. I was such a disappointment, not only to myself but to my family and friends as well.

Beware. The sacrifices for temporary happiness takes a toll on our permanent one.

School. Sleep. Friends.
Rewind and Repeat.

Friend space : 34567893249834

Is it just me or is everyone your friend when you are involved with a group that reaps benefits? Like a job perhaps. And you find that people who never bothered to give you the time of the day in the past is actually talking to you. They ask countless questions not regarding your well being, of course, and they only get in touch with you when they need something. True, everyone has to satisfy their own needs through others. And true, everyone is a human being and likes to have their way. But we have to learn to let go of those people.

I've always had problems with saying no. And I've had friends take advantage of that. I would have people asking for hookups: free entry, wristbands, and drinks. I thought it was beyond ridiculous. I've never even had a real conversation with the majority of those who ask for a favor. It felt like they didn't see me as a person, but as a means to serve their own needs. It only took a bit of time before I reached my limit and finally put my foot down. I wasn't going to have people run all over me. And honestly, it doesn't make me a mean person for standing up for myself. Plus, real friends would understand. Real friends do not fear to say the truth in love and understanding that we can handle it.

"True friendship consists not in the multitude of friends, but in their worth and value (Ben Jonson)". In our lifetime, we may have many friends, but our list of true friends is extremely small. We all have the friends that we have fun with, but we are incapable of sharing our deepest, darkest secrets with. Then there are the special friends that you trust with anything. Everything. Your life. They are the good people that share a friendship without any underlying motives. They never stop believing in you, even if you give up on yourself. With them, friendship is a 2 way street. And even when apart, their presence still enhances us. Those kind of friends are the sunshine of my life. I consider myself lucky to have 5 close friends, and I wouldn't trade them for the world.

Status: single

It is interesting. I have a friend who most definitely would react upon seeing a change of status or information on Facebook/Myspace. She would overreact upon seeing her ex's status change from single to it's complicated. Mainly she thinks that he has found another significant other. Then she has to find out everything, meaning every dirty detail, and labels the mystery girl: 'little bitch'. Keeping her grudge until she feels no threat, she lets her emotions rule her in her actions and her words. Act. Don't react.

DestroTheBiggaFigga from "Generation-Hiphop" wrote an eye-opening post the other day regarding social networks. He said:

"Are you serious? Why? A social networking site doesn't dictate 100% reality. You can change things, add things, make up completely false information or whatever. Anybody have any bad stories that essentially as a result of a Facebook/Myspace dispute?"

Though my trivial story is not as drastic as murder in DestroTheBiggaFigga's post, it proves the same point that it doesn't dictate 100% reality and there are unnecessary situations due to a social network dispute.

And I fully agree. Instead of spending hours in front the computer, face-to-face contact is the best way to sort things out or create new relationships. There is still the possibility of making up false information in person, but at least we have a basic understanding of the person. It's easy to just sit behind the computer and post loving comments or an eye-catching status. And the status of a person's love life and everything that is published is not always necessarily true. When you're online, you can adapt and be anyone you want to be, and no one will know. You can disclose anything about yourself on the sites. Thinking about it, it seems pretty dangerous because the majority of us are a part of Facebook/Myspace. And you know that once we change our status, everyone will know. Everyone will see it in the news feed and mini-feed. We just have to be able to draw the line between reality and the virtual world.

BOMBS AWAY! And now exactly, who are your friends .. ?

Don't you just love it when people talk about you? When those people are your so called friends? Because I know I sure don't. Especially not in the way all my 'friends' talk.

And you can call me a hypocrite since I talk too. But better it be someone else than you right? And see the thing is, if you don't watch out for yourself, then who will? And you might say your best friend, but then I'd say don't even count on that.

The industry, in a way, is kind of like a landmine. Being careful wherever you step. Being careful with who you associate yourself with. And you have to play by the rules, but being careful at the same time because people can be real sneaky. And watch out, especially for the people you are closest to. Because at one moment, they could be your best friend, and at the next, they could be your enemy. And in the end, you're on your own. You stand alone.

You have to build your bridges to back yourself up. You have to network: meet everyone and every one's friends and their friends. It keeps going. Basically everyone is connected in some way. It is a small world after all. And if you burn your bridges, don't even think about showing your face. Seriously.

See, I had a friend, AJ. And AJ stepped on a 'bomb'. A few in a row, sadly. Not literally, of course. I don't think he really thought through his actions that well. He betrayed his friend to secretly try to get a girl that clearly has and had no interest in him. Everyone forgave him though. I mean it's just one time that he messed up on his part right? But he messed up, again. And it was barely even a week later too. Sure, there are some things that are just morally wrong, and people have the right to know about secrets. Well, some secrets at least. But selling your friend out on it just doesn't cut it. Because of him, there is the picture that blew things out of proportion. A picture of a friend straddling a guy. It's not that bad right? But the guy is already in a relationship. And because of him, the significant other immediately knew what happened even before the picture was posted. And of course, all of us automatically assume more happened with the circumstances of the environment: being intoxicated in the club. See. Word spreads one way or another. Man, i bet it must've been a really bad weekend for her. For all of us.

In a way, I feel bad for him. Everyone was mad at him, and they still are. My friend was so heated when he found out the reason why it even happened in the first place. No one was supposed to know. It was kind of like a dirty little secret. But because of AJ, I guess now everyone does. My friend was ready to jump. Ready to fight. Luckily AJ didn't get out of the car and show up at a friend's house though. Because if he did, man, he would've ended up in the hospital. And now, no one dares to really talk to him. Though he can't blame anyone but himself for putting himself in his miserable state.

Everyone doesn't want to get involved. Everyone wants to lay low. And you can't blame anyone, they're just trying to avoid unnecessary drama. Even I cross my fingers and pray that it doesn't happen to me. I'd rather be the one talking than being the one talked about. So step lightly and avoid the 'bombs'.

.. spare change?

The industry is a really judgmental environment. Nothing goes unnoticed. And I seriously mean nothing. And if anything happens, everyone will know about it within at least 5 minutes. I know that full well with my own first hand experience. Several times too. Word spreads like wildfire. And if you thought high school was bad with all its stereotypes and dramas, then I highly doubt your survival in the night life.

And if being judged for our appearances and actions weren't enough, my friend just recently started a top ten list. And it's not the typical top ten list of best friends too. This list changes every week.

This week, it is the top ten girls. In my perspective, I think it's extremely stupid and shallow. It's degrading. And I refuse to be a part of it like everyone else is. Girls are asking to get on the list. Boys are voting. And you get as many votes as you can in that week. The rules are that you get a vote a day. And the exception is that if you are a part of Phoenix Sounds, then you get two votes a day.

At first, I thought it was just a matter of popularity. Guess not. Along with the original votes, there is a recently added bonus of 5 votes going to the best dancer and 10 votes going to the best dressed of the night.

I really think the girls need to reconsider their priorities. Well, I don't think it applies to all the girls. But I did end up hearing that one of my good friends asked to be on the list and was continuously asking everyone to vote for her. She jumped up 6 votes in 20 minutes. No offense, but I swear she reeks of desparation for something that is extremely trivial. And I bet if I asked her, she would say that she did no such thing. In the industry, everyone knows everything. And you don't even have to literally know a person to know about their business. So I find it extremely silly especially when I know she's lying to my face.

I think the industry has changed her. For the worse. I find that she's all caught up with all the superficial things. Always trying to look good for each event resulting in debt as she continues to buy clothes even while she lacks the money for it. Then she drinks till she drops. Literally. I cannot even keep count the times she has been kicked out, or better yet carried out bridal style out of the club. I even feel embarassed for her when I hear the gossip and rumors about her. Back then, I used to almost see and talk to her everyday, but now it has dwindled to a maximum of once a week. And when I do see her, it's at an event, so she's massively intoxicated. God, I just hope she never turns into one of the stereotypical industry girls that gets 'passed around' in a group of guys.

Maybe. Just maybe she will snap out of her phase and actually be herself again. After all, I think the industry is a temporary pastime, though the problem is that it sucks the majority of people in. And then we come into terms with the whole idea that frightens most of us: change. And don't get me wrong, but I just think change, good or bad, happens for a reason.

At the start ..

It's hard to write about one thing relentlessly. Like for hobbies, you can write about how it works, how you began, and how you fell in love with it. I find it very limited. However in my nearing of my first year in the industry, I seem to have been proven wrong. I wouldn't necessarily call it a hobby though. More of a pastime really. Then again, those two are in a way similar to each other. Well, I can say that I got more than I bargained for in joining as a promoter. There is a lot that goes on behind closed doors and everything happens so fast. In a way, its kind of like a card game. If you play your cards right, then you're safe. And if you don't, you better watch your back.